Sweetie was headed elsewhere after our trip, so I was on my own for the flights back to Israel. We arrived at Palermo's airport at about 4AM for my 6AM flight. Only to find out that my flight was cancelled. Lovely.
The good news was that they put me on an only slightly later flight to Rome, that would still theoretically give me enough time to catch my flight to Israel.
As the time came to go through security at Palermo, I unloaded all my water onto Sweetie since there were signs about the dreaded liquids rule. We didn't face that coming to Italy, so I wasn't 100% certain it would apply on the return flight, but it did.
After my bag went through the x-ray, the security guy grabbed it and said, "Botella." And I was like, "No......" and then it dawned on me.....we had placed a very nice bottle of Sicilian wine in my carryon. UG!!!!!! What a waste. Luckilly, Sweetie was still watching from afar and I waved him down and the security guard escorted me to Sweetie so I could unload the bottle. At least he was able to give it to someone who might appreciate it (turned out to be the lucky folks at Avis).
So...........that tragic loss of a good bottle of wine out of the way, I was able to board my flight to Rome.
The flight was uneventful except for the lady sitting next to me crying as she talked about living in the US vs. Italy (many of her relatives live in Sicily, though her parents emigrated to the US). She was very helpful in that she told me if I had to go through security again and wait in a massive line, to just push my way in from the side. That's how the locals do it.
Upon arrival at Rome, I followed the signs for "Transfers." And they most unfortunately led me to a mass of people the likes of which I have never seen in an airport. This was at passport control. I was flabbergasted that people actually had to go through passport control when they had PLANES TO CATCH. I estimate there were 1,000 people there, give or take 200. Okay, maybe it was only 500.
I tried to line up in what I assessed to be the shortest line -- only about 100 people in it. But then one of those stupid golf cart things tried to come through the masses. HEL-LO. There was just nowhere to go. The driver got stuck on a corner as she tried to turn with a wall on one side and 1,000 people on the other. I, unfortunately, was in the immediate vicinity of this and she actually ran over my toe. The hazards of travel.
Anyway, it was clear I was not going to get anywhere near passport control within the next say, ten days. And my flight was in 90 minutes. Some people were showing their ticket and moving ahead in the line. But, I decided this was for sissies. My strategy was to not make eye contact with anyone, as I simply shamelessly line-jumped about 50 people at a time (constantly switching lines). Out of the corner of my eyes I sensed a few dirty looks, but no one actually said anything. Frankly, I was astonished that EVERYONE wasn't trying to do this. I don't know how there wasn't a full-blown riot. Maybe everyone else had a 12 hour layover and nothing better to do. I do not know.
Anyway, after I had line-jumped to within 30 people of the front of one line, I noticed that a new line was about to open and I was perfectly positioned to slide right into that. Which I did. Five minutes later I was on my way to my gate. Phew.
I thought the worst was over. Then I arrived at the El Al (Israeli national airline, with the tightest security of any airline in the world) counter. There was a note that transiting passengers must check in at the "Security Desk" before getting their boarding pass. Hmm...that sounded ominous.
I was interrogated by a young woman:
- Do you speak Hebrew?
- What were you doing in Italy?
- Where did you stay?
- What, you stayed in the same place for two weeks??
- Where did you go in Sicily?
- Did you take pictures? Can I see them? [at which point I had to dig my camera out of my bag and she went through my 200-some digital pictures]
- Why are you going to Israel?
- Why don't you have a diplomatic visa? [I decided "Cuz your *&%$# country won't give me one" probably wasn't the best answer]
I pulled out my assortment of letters from the Embassy attesting to my status in Israel. She asked if she could call the Embassy. Sure, I said. So, she did. I was told to sit in the waiting area.
So, there I sat, and sat and sat. While the girl was on the phone for about 20 minutes. SURELY there are better targets for them to waste time on. Though, to be fair, there was a heavily tattooed American guy wearing a studded dog collar who was being similarly delayed.
About 40 minutes after arriving at the ticket counter, I finally had the magic piece of paper clearing me to board. But, the fun and games were not over yet. I had to present myself for an inspection of my CHECKED baggage.
So, I and a motley crew of random folks (including an Israeli lady with several small children) were led into the bowels of the airport, down a freight elevator, and onto the tarmac where our suitcases were waiting. We each had to open our suitcase up, go through every nook and cranny, and assure the staff that everything in it was ours. Lots of fun. I felt slightly less disgruntled after watching the lady with the kids try to restuff one of her suitcases while various assorted clothing items were popping out from all sides. And hey, the good news was that at least my bag was THERE and not in Monaco.
Anyway, it was all over and I finally boarded the plane (about 30 minutes after it was scheduled to depart).
Soooooooooooo, that was quite a bit of hassle just to get home from vacation!! Security for flights has gotten so out of control that I don't even see how anyone can feasibly fly anymore. You can only take a tiny ziploc bag of liquids on the plane, you have to pull that out of your carryon and have it screened separately even though others are telling you all your carryon items must fit in one bag and you must prove it by shoving them all into one bag at security even though security then tells you to pull them back out, you have to take off shoes, belts, etc. If you're flying El Al, you're subjected to a lengthy interrogation, as are DIPLOMATS in EMBASSIES on your behalf who surely have more important things to do....where is it going to stop? Are we going to have to board planes naked?
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