Peace and Quiet

Sweetie is upstairs napping before our Friday pilgrimage to the gym, so I'm using this time to write a post.  I wanted desperately to nap, but the two thousand-billion decibel level of the children's party (probably about a mile away, but it might as well be in the living room) was disrupting my efforts to join Sweetie in blissful sleep.  

Yes, it's Friday late afternoon/early evening, it's April, it's children's birthday party season again.  No children's birthday party in Israel is complete without
professional entertainment, usually a man, equipped with a really loud sound system that will blare not only his voice, but also every irritating techno beat known to mankind.  They tend to last from 1600-1900.

I have determined that whenever we buy a permanent dwelling for us to live in, it should be surrounded by many acres of land.  Either that, or be thoroughly soundproofed.

"How do you like Israel?"

This is a question that I and others are frequently asked.

Last night, I attended a dinner hosted by Americans and attended by several Israelis (immigrants) -- the oldest have lived here for 50 years, with the newest arrival having immigrated 3 years ago.

The conversations were very interesting to me. For example, the most recent immigrant told horror stories about trying to seek medical care for a very serious and life-threatening medical problem just 2 weeks after arriving in Israel. In the end, he had to essentially start shouting and hollering to get anyone in the hospital to take him seriously.

This is how I feel about virtually everything here -- if you want someone to do something and take you seriously, you often have to become very confrontational, which is just not something I am good at, or feel comfortable doing.

Later, the conversation turned to the influx of immigrants into Europe. One of the guests was basically saying that the number of Muslims is growing so rapidly in Europe that "Europe is lost." He said the Jews really only have Israel, the US, and Australia left as options for countries to live in. Then he went on to say that even Israel has "the Arabs" and then mentioned "right of return" and the disputed Golan Heights.

What struck me about all this talk was that it was all based on an assumption or belief that Jews simply cannot live in a country with Muslims. If this is the assumption, then how can anyone possibly be hopeful about peace in this region?

Personally, I am not, and never have been, hopeful about peace in this region. I simply do not think it is possible. Every side has legitimate points. Everyone has either already lost, or will lose something that they worked hard for. I don't see a solution that will make everyone happy, or make things any better than they are now.

The things that drive me crazy

Today when Sweetie tried to back out of the garage on his way to work, it was completely blocked by a workman's little pickup truck.  Sweetie had to find the workman (at a neighbor's house) and get it moved.  He told the guy not to park his truck there again.

Well, low and behold, I go out and it is RIGHT in front of our garage.  Completely blocking it.  And there were plenty of other places he could have parked.   Like in front of the garage of the person whose house he was working on, for one.  Anyway, I was sooooooo fed up.  I wrote a very "firm" note in both English and Hebrew stating that he should not park there.  Now, thankfully, the truck is completely gone.

"Peace"
Last Thursday, the next door neighbor's house alarm was going off literally for THREE HOURS in the morning.  It would be going off for 3 minutes, stop for 30 seconds, and then start going off again.  I was soooooooo irritated.  I started screaming, "There will NEVER be peace in this country because people here have absolutely no respect for it!!"

I believe this.

And add the whole parking thing, and you see that some people (many here, according to my observations) have no respect for and show no consideration for other people.  This is another truly necessary component to making peace with your neighbors, whether they are neighbors on your street, or neighbors in the next country or "territory."

"Muslim Warriors"

Yesterday, I watched most of the second installment of "God's Warriors" on CNN. This one was about "Muslim Warriors." My impression after watching Part II was that it didn't really tell me anything I did not already know. I suppose I was hoping for a more analytical approach to the issues. Instead the episode seemed to focus on interviews that provided examples of the ideologies (for example, an American girl who chooses to wear a hijab), which, frankly, I've seen and read plenty about already.

The program seemed aimed toward an audience that does not already have a general knowledge of various extremist ideologies. But, if someone doesn't already have a basic knowledge of the topic, are they really going to be interested enough to sit in front of a TV for SIX hours total to educate themselves? I'm just not sure who the target audience is....

"God's Warriors"

I'm sure many of you have seen some of Christiane Amanpour's "God's Warriors" three-part series for CNN. Part II is airing today.

Last night Sweetie and I caught about 45-minutes of Part I one "Jewish Warriors." "Disturbing" was our opinion. Watching it really made us feel like things are truly hopeless in the realm of religion and peace.

I know the show focuses on extremes in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. But it is precisely the concept of focusing on the extremists that engenders this hopeless feeling.

The fact is that people who take their religion to confrontational and sometimes violent extremes are in the minority. I think the key is to remember that the vast majority of people do not have these disturbing attitudes toward other peoples and other religions. Somehow, the world has to find a way to teach tolerance to more people.

This makes me think back to my experience at Neve Shalom here in Israel. If only everyone could be raised in such an environment.

Comments and Manners

"Nobody Loves Me"



Please y'all, submit some comments! My dear friend Kuri has been the only person to do this so far, bless her heart, she has kept me from falling into a blog-induced depressive state. It's all very easy and you do not need a Blogspot account to do it.



Manners



These anecdotes fall under the category of Israeli Observations.



#1: Last night I was at a seaside bar with a group of about 15 people. We were spread out at a large table and a smaller table. Now, I did not actually see this happen, but I did witness the yelling that ensued as a result....



Apparently, a young Israeli female (in her 20s) walked over to the smaller table, at which a young man and woman (part of party) were sitting. She picked up a pack of Camel cigarettes that was on the table and asked for one (as she was removing it from the package). The young man said, "No, those aren't mine, so I can't let you take one." The owner of the Camels was in the ladies room. He offered one of his cigarettes, but the lady refused it and took one of the Camels anyway, even as the man told her again that she couldn't have one of those because they weren't his. She ignored him and walked off with the Camel cigarette.



That's when the man started saying loudly across the bar, "That's really rude...you could at least say 'Thank you.'" etc. When I heard what happened, I was appalled. As was the man's girlfriend, who is Israeli and was sitting right there. She said she's Israeli but she would never do something like that. The man was going on about how not all Israelis are like that, but 95% of them are. The girlfriend got quiet.... I don't know if she disagreed with that assertion, or agreed but didn't want to say it out loud about her own fellow countrymen.

#2: On Friday, Sweetie and I were lounging by the pool in the evening when suddenly loud disco music started thumping across the street. It was coming from the neighbor's pool area and continued until we headed up to bed. Now, Shabbat (the Jewish holy day of the week) starts on Friday night. We assume that things are supposed to be kept relatively quiet during that time and until Shabbat ends on Saturday night. But, apparently not.

I asked an Israeli about this once, and he told me that Shabbat only applies to religious Jews and so others don't really care.

Okay, fine. Shabbat aside, isn't it still really rude to subject the entire neighborhood to your music? This would never fly in the average residential area in the US. The neighbors would ask you to turn it down and even call the police if they had to.

Does is not bother people here? There are lots of retired people living on our block -- does loud music outside not bother them?

Road manners

The thing that makes me want to strangle people

Back in my pre-blog days, I mentioned the Israeli habit of honking their car horns virtually all the time (even at red lights). It is really excessive and it is the one thing in this country that actually makes me want to leap out and strangle people.

The other day, I was enjoying a delightful lunch at an outdoor cafe in a quiet, residential area. Then, suddenly, a deafening HONK! emanated from a large SUV about 30 feet from us. We ignored it. But then, HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

I was aghast. Others were too. The lady apparently wanted to get through the single lane in the parking lot, but someone was parked halfway on the sidewalk AND the lady had this excessively large SUV, so she couldn't get through. Mind you, the shopping center is so small that it only has about 10 parking spaces, so whoever owned the offending car could not possibly have not heard the first honk.

At any rate, no one stepped out to move the car, and SUV Lady was honking so much that Israelis were actually getting offended by it and one man approached the lady telling her to stop. Then, the cafe owner also did the same. But, the lady ignored their pleas and HONKKKKKKKED again.

What does this achieve? Why are some Israelis so fixated on this practice? I do not understand. If I hadn't been so shocked, I might have actually gone up and physically harmed that woman.

Hope and other things

Hope

Last night I attended a benefit concert featuring a famous Israeli musician. The concert raised money for Neve Shalom/Wahat al-Salam ("Oasis of Peace"), a joint Jewish-Arab village between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. The village has about 50 households -- half are Arab and half are Jewish. There is a school where Arab and Jewish children study together, and children are brought in from surrounding areas to attend the school as well. I visited the school and it was definitely very touching to see Arab and Jewish children studying together so happily.

Interestingly, after suggesting myself that people start respecting peace on a micro level, I did not find myself particularly optimistic after my visit to the village -- despite the fact that they are trying to spread peace from the grassroots level. Even after hearing about the educational and peace-building programs in which tens of thousands of people have participated, I felt more hopeless than ever about peace in this region. I couldn't put my finger on why, but that is the way I felt.

I felt the same way last night at the concert when the musician said he has hope for peace in the region. I guess I feel that you can change a few people's minds and lives, and that is a beautiful, amazing thing that has value in and of itself. But, generally speaking the conflict between Jews and Arabs is so ingrained in many of the people here -- I feel like it is in their blood. I once heard a woman (an American who had immigrated recently to Israel) say in a warning fashion, "There are Arabs living among us." I was stunned. And I didn't say anything. It's not like anything I could say would change her mind.

It made me think back the US's history with slavery. The United States is just over 200 years old, so slavery didn't have much time become indelibly marked in people's belief systems. In this region, the conflict stretches for thousands of years. How long and how much/what kind of effort will it take to change things?

Being Human
I was recently watching "Grey's Anatomy" -- one of my favorite shows ever -- and the main character was about to get involved with a new guy and was trying to act like she wasn't "scary and damaged." The more I learn about life and the more people I meet, the more I think that everyone has their own "scary and damaged" aspects. Isn't that what parents are supposed to do to us - mess us up so we can spend the rest of our lives trying to sort it out? :-) But, I think the point is:
--Handle this state of being with grace and humanity. Be gentle and forgiving with ourselves while striving to be better.
--Be compassionate and graceful in how we deal with everyone else since they also have their own issues.

Keeping the peace

Every once in a while, we receive a very generic-looking typewritten piece of paper in Hebrew in our mailbox. I can't read enough Hebrew to ever figure these out completely, but it seems they are usually from neighbors who are about to create some noise and nearly drive us to the point of insanity.



One recent letter was apparently related to the teardown of a house right behind ours -- it even had the landlord's name handwritten into the addressee line. There was a different one today. It was more generic, but said something was going to happen today from 11AM until late afternoon in someone's garden. It was going to involve noise (one of the few Hebrew words I could make out). Sure enough, I heard loud (though pleasant, thankfully) music playing during those hours.



I still don't know exactly what the paper said, but I thought, perhaps naively, that maybe someone was having an open house, garage sale, or garden party, and inviting the neighbors. Maybe not:-)



There also tend to be a lot of VERY NOISY children's parties in our neighborhood. Complete with entertainment (the party meister is always equipped with a microphone and very loud speakers). These usually don't start until about 4PM and they always come without warning.



It all makes me wonder, shouldn't we all try respecting peace on a micro level at least?